Now I’m thinking, why not pursue a life of stepping out of pain rather than burying it or holding onto it like a trophy simply because that’s the norm? Why not choose to be free? If we are brave enough, we don’t have to carry our wounds for the rest of our lives. We don’t! We can let pain out of the shadows. It may be excruciating to do so but the fear of being seen is temporary and soon after, relief, hope and best of all, healing rush in. I took a step to do this with one thing in my life yesterday. Honestly, I was afraid but I don’t regret it. It was a step toward wholeness, toward freedom.
Today I had a wound that decided to claw to the surface. I was listening to a sermon with a group of people I had grown up around but since moved away from and we were discussing God’s heart— literally discussing. The pastor expected us to verbally answer his questions. I like that about this family. Through various parts of his teaching I felt the stab of tears behind my eyes. I don’t cry for nothing, I’m realizing. As a child, I rarely cried. I didn’t want the attention or to be perceived as weak because I wasn’t weak.