This question guts me. It makes me say the f word in my head and shake from desperately holding back tears. I need to answer it for myself because I know where I think He is during my suffering. Not here.
But then came the resurrection. So it would be wrong of me, even evil, to say the same about Him during the crucifixion.
I have lost the experience of your presence. I can no longer see your face. Truths that were once sweet do not comfort me. Pour out your soul, analyze your hopes, remember the lovingkindness of God, and preach to your heart.
Is this a desert of my own making? I know what to do yet I don’t do it.
My brother has come back from India a changed man. He is alive. This card reduced me to tears and humble gratefulness.
Chels, How much I love you is hard to describe as the significant impacts you have had on my life have not been few in number. When I was young you were kind to me and attempted to understand when no one else would...
Remember when I said that I’m fighting you? Well the truth is, I’m not and it feels to us both like you are winning. Sometimes I’m willing to concede to the idea because it’s easier and doesn’t require me to change my worst patterns—an impossible task. But...
He’s not a bad man. In fact, he has one of the purer hearts I have seen. His intentions and his loves are true. His convictions are firm and just. His heart is soft underneath. I spend too much time thinking about how he is not perfect.
I see you. You lie to me so often, I hardly notice. You tell me he doesn’t love me. You tell me we won’t change. You tell me hope is lost, fear is fine and comfort cannot be found. While I easily and quickly believe you, you’ve been noticed. I see you and I’m fighting you.
Last night was wonderful until it wasn’t. We went to the new 5:00 gathering for the first time. We had been discussing how it has felt difficult lately; the church hasn’t felt like home for some time, like it used to.
Sometimes marriage is flinging every hurtful word just to spread pain and ensure you’re not alone in yours. Sometimes it’s throwing things when you know you shouldn’t, and doing it repeatedly. There’s that anger again, just like when you were a kid. Sometimes it’s threatening to leave because you just want the fight to end though you never meant it.
It’s interesting that—suddenly, and triggered by a stranger saying to another stranger on the phone, “I’m really excited to see you”—my heart can be flooded with a feeling of longing for all the people I miss. The brain is _______ like that. I couldn’t find the right word for it.
It’s been almost a week now and I’m still trying to process. We’ve had such a story, he and I. A tumultuous one filled with mountain top moments and deep despairing valleys. When the proposal finally came, for us it would mark a massive and miraculous triumph, bringing an end to a long and, at times, back-breaking battle. I wanted it to feel like a victory cry and I wanted us to metaphorically cry that cry together, to the world, at the top of our lungs.